Choices.

Sometimes, you forget how in control of them you really are.


**

What's up with this feeling .


ugh.

The more i try, the more i shut away.



*****

I want to be how i was a few years ago.
I used to be good with words.
But now, i can't even think of words to fit into my mouth.
I used to be the one with tons of energy. Now, i'm lethargic all the time.
I once knew what i wanted and how i felt.
I was once full with empathy.
Not anymore.
I'm losing you, ching.


*****

Tourettes + OCD + anxiety
= a goddamn hard time to focus to even read a page.

I hate how my mind doesn't work the way i want it to.


*****


On a more jovial sight, here's something tambi sent me.




& that's totally her.

And i bet a lot of compulsive online chatters are like that too.
Admit it.

*****

Its amazing how one dog's touch can make you feel so much better.

sankyou Chillie :D

It's been long since i could trespass this rock heart and feel again.

Today I read postsecret with 4, 150 people from across the world.

Makes you wonder huh?


*****



Cheryl says i'm not egoistic .
Thank you.


*****




*****

Those who know me pretty ok would probably know or shall i say,
immune, to what appears to be my "holy water" .
Those who don't know, it's one of my tics where i spit . /embarassed.
i know, eew. Oh well, i wouldn't do it if i could help it , right?

Anyhow, the "holy water" has been oh unconditionally blessing my laptop,
causing stains and ugh u know what. Sank god i finally stopped procrastinating and went off to Carefour with jd to hunt for appropriate accessories to save my lappie's physical condition.

What did i buy ?
Screen protector, keyboard protector, micro-fibre cloth, LCD cleaner,
keyboard vacuum, some cyber-clean sort of slim thingy, and hahah an external keyboard ! yeah, following the steps of my fellow tambi in keeping her laptop clean and convenient.


And going out with jd, nevertheless meant another adventure.
While jd was in the line, i went to grab a packet of drink nearby.
When i heard jd screaming "CHING !", i rushed over. She whispered "that chinese guy behind us tried to cut my line." A moment later, he suddenly stood in front of me, shoving his jar of cheese to the cashier and placed it on the counter.
Did i mention, the cashier was still handling the customer in front of us ?
then out of no where, he started talking to the cashier in Arab. He tried to be friendly.
He even asked "you malay or Kadazan?". He just kept babbling.

I guess it's one of his tactics of the ways to cut line -
"To distract people by continuously talking rubbish!"

He then took out his money and asked "Eh, where's my cheese?".
The cashier was still scanning the earlier customer's things !!
The cashier was in shock but manage to give the man the
'can't you see what i'm doing' look, and ignored him! Jd and i just watched and laughed.
Even the family behind us were gossiping bout the man cutting the queue and shook
their heads in disgust.

We weren't mad.
We were amused that a grown up old man
would do something not quite ethical.

*****

Dear Arashi fans,

I just learnt a whole new bunch of vocabularies.

Matsu-mazing!
Sho my Gosh
This is Ninonsense!
Oh no!...Satoshi..., and
Aiaiaiba !!

I know im way behind time . but come on, i'm new bahaha

Sankyou people !


*****

Hana Yori Dango

Domyouji : Your cakes can't satisfy my "tum-tum" !
Makino : "tum-tum"? Your japanese sucks.
Domyouji : NO ! JAPANESE IS MY NATIVE LANGUAGE !
Makino : oh. Then .... you're stupid i guess.

*****

Shigeru : Somehow this place(Makino's apartment) feels kinda nostalgic...
Makino : oh, really ?
Shigeru : hmmm...... AHHH !
I know why ! We used to have a pigeon coop that was as big and
dirty as this place ! [innocently]


*****